As I invoke your breath,
Please cede to me this much:
That by an uncoiling
of icy phrases, I may
Reprise more than those myths
Where your lurid gestures
Ran jagged along crags
of Lefkada. My heart
Nervously drifts within
Your glaring mask, whose cold
Eyes cannot silence this
Pale echo of mine, words
Longing to be much more
Than a desperate plea
For powers that would lift
Me from an anguished urge
To retract who I am,
And instead breathe enough
Of you that I could thrive.
Today, September 28th, is an important day to me because it marks my first anniversary after beginning HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy). You could also call it my “second birthday” as Sylvia even though she’s been a significant part of me for quite some time before this transition began last year. Even before I took that name, and as far back as my early childhood, I can remember knowing something didn’t feel right about being born a male at birth (AMAB).
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After celebrating her birthday, a termination letter was waiting for me when I got home: This felt more direct than her disappointment over me giving her only a card.
If I had more agency or freedom, she wouldn’t have felt that way.
These paternal hindrances can’t last forever, can they?
After taking seat in that recliner
The nurse made me give her informed consent
To be injected and bandaged tightly;
To be drugged with steroids and Benadryl.
She then strung me up for five hours with drugs
Designed for cancer, but were “good enough”
To suppress a nervous system gone mad.
How a NAT20 on a Spell-cast Sometimes Works?
Well, the past couple weeks have been kind of a wash in terms of the GURPS game I’m running because of scheduling issues and stuff like that. For what was supposed to be last week’s session, I had been totally unprepared for what to do with this party of FGO servant heroes. That is, I was until serendipity smiled upon me, because earlier last week, a mailing list I’m on sent me an email about what that week’s “DriveThruRPG” giveaway was. It was for a standalone D&D module called “The Crumbling Stair:” I grabbed the PDF off the site and didn’t think much of it. That was on Monday or Tuesday last week. By the time Wednesday night rolled around, and I was trying to come up with stuff for the session I wanted to hold that Friday, I had nearly decided to just try winging it again (it surprisingly worked okay for the previous session) until I found “The Crumbling Stair” in my downloads folder on my PC. I read the synopsis, flipped through what the maps looked like, and the enemies involved, and decided that that was what I’d use, or, something based off it at least.
Enuma Elish – this hasn’t happened…yet…
Since the winter of last year, I’ve been running a GURPS game via Discord and Tabletop Simulator (TTS) for six players, and when I reflect on where the story has taken their characters, I can’t help but laugh at how ridiculous things have become. It reminds me of a flowchart I found that helps you find your GMing style. Here it is:
![Gekijouban Kara no Kyoukai - The Garden of Sinners - 03 [DEXA]_[28043913]_56365-564512](https://wickedcultured.files.wordpress.com/2020/07/gekijouban-kara-no-kyoukai-the-garden-of-sinners-03-dexa_28043913_56365-564512.gif)
Since returning to Central Florida in 2018 for my MSW clinical internship, quite a few non-school and arguably geeky things happened in my life. I already described the NieR Orchestra thing in LA that I saw earlier this year, but this stuff goes back to mid-2018, a few months after I’d begun my one-year USC internship as a mental health counselor at Grace Medical Home in Orlando.
Wow, has it really been almost two years since my last post on this site?? I feel bad for neglecting my writing, but I’ve been really busy with a bunch of other non-writing related activities. I’ll try to summarize what’s been going on in my life the past two years.
Wicked Cultured 